Arise
by kyrilu
Summary: To help him rise once again, he knows he's going to have to fall.  But that's all right.  KaiShin.


Title: Arise  
Author: Endless  
Rating: T  
Pairing: KaiShin  
Genre: Drama/Tragedy  
Summary: To help him rise once again, he knows he's going to have to fall. But that's all right. KaiShin.

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All the art of living lies in a fine mingling of letting go and holding on.  
-Havelock Ellis

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_He stood there, in front of the still pond. Lily pads and petals were strewn across the reflective surface, the clear water glittering like jewels. Wind whistled through the reeds in a chipper, melodic tune which seemed to grow sorrowful every minute._

He heard longing. Yearning. A desperate beauty that always existed in the saddest of things. The darkest of hope that lived through death.

The music played in their same somber tones, interlaced with both light and dark notes, reminding him that there was always an afterwards.

-x-x-x-x-x-

The fog was dense, a thick heavy cloud that weighed down on top of him. He didn't think he could bear its weight. It was a suffocating, choking feeling…being trapped. Being held prisoner by the inevitable.

He screamed a silent curse to the black-and-white world around him, clutching the metal chains of the swing he rested on. His voice was inaudible, unheard. A mouth only hung open uselessly as he called for somebody, anybody. And then he finally gave up, azure eyes pooling with tears, dripping onto his pale cheeks and falling away.

It never ended.

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_Fingers lingered over the pond's edge, dipping into the sapphire liquid. A hand plunged itself in, tingling with water as it moved, setting off a hushed swell._

The small wave lapped at the soft soil, gently pushing aside each grain of sand. A smooth, stone was revealed, colored a grey-blue hue.

A hand closed around the stone, clutching it with a lithe grasp. Violet eyes shut, eyelids sliding into the shape of a crescent moon.

"Please…"

And then he disappeared.

-x-x-x-x-x-

Somebody was there, in the swing next to him, rocking back in forth in a steady rhythm. The chains creaked from the movement, protesting in a high-pitched squeak.

"Tell me something," the newcomer murmured, feet brushing against the ground. "Why are you still here?"

There was bitter irony hidden under those words. For he had said those to the other not very long ago, but in a completely different circumstance. In a different place. In a different time.

The other but laughed harshly, blue eyes grave and solemn. "What do you want me to say, Kai-Kid?" His voice stumbled as he almost let the single name slip off his tongue, but he caught it in the back of his throat, coaxing it back into cage it had been imprisoned in.

"You don't think anything matters anymore." It was a statement, not a question, shot bluntly like a sharp arrow.

The blue-eyed young man fought back a wince as if the arrow pierced his skin, before replying, "No. What else would matter?"

"Everything," the violet-eyed man answered simply. "Everything."

'Tantei-kun' tensed, fists clenching into a tightly curled ball. "Shut up," he snapped, trying to gather every ounce of his strength, trying to allow the fire to blaze into his eyes once again. "You're not…you're not real."

"Aren't I?" the other whispered, leaning towards him, face nearing close, so close. "Aren't I?" he repeated again.

And Kudou Shinichi felt as if time turned backwards as soft lips met his, as nimble fingers twined in his hands, and warmth blossomed in his chest. Heat flowed from Kuroba Kaito's body as it pressed against his own, bringing life into him once more.

"Don't be a child," Kaito murmured, slowly pulling away from Shinichi. "Stop seeing everything this way." The magician gestured the surroundings around them, pointing out the dullness, the flatness. The black-and-white shadows that flickered around him, surrounded by fog.

A hand lingered on Shinichi's as Kaito gradually dissolved, leaving him alone once again. In the dream. In the nightmare.

And Shinichi finally smiled, and walked away from the swings, from the opaque fog, from the regret. It was a child's world, after all.

It was meaningless to linger in a world where he breathed pain.

-x-x-x-x-x-

_He was back, but that didn't matter. At least this time, he was able to manage a semblance of 'farewell'._

And Kaito smiled, and let go of the stone he was grasping skim across the pond in graceful skips, causing ripples to ebb and flow.

Life wasn't fair and never was, but for now, he could wait a little longer.

-x-x-x-x-x-

Life is pain, Highness! Anyone who says differently is selling something.  
-Princess Bride, film

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A/N: …Yeah, that was…different.


End file.
